Sorrowful Breeze (Damien Nazario Fanfiction)
by ErnestSinclairegirl18
Summary: Struggling with life after Eros and being on the run, Damien and Charity try to rebuild their lives together but there is always someone or something who want to try break them. Is Charity’s mental health and her trust in Damien enough to get her through the tough days ahead? Or is their relationship deigned to fail?


Being on the edge is something I've come to accept. Ever since Eros and everything me and Damien have been through in the past few weeks, I don't feel he understands what's going on in my head. You know the feeling you get when you wake up with a migraine, where the inside of your head is painful, you see dots as your vision instead of your normal vision and in general you just feel like crap? Yeah. Well that's how I feel. The anger inside me is like a raging fire, the fire is like a painful fracture or something, like a small thing Damien says causes a throbbing ache, even if he doesn't mean to hurt me, I don't even know what's wrong with. The worse thing is I think I am scaring Damien away and I would be lost without him, he's the tea bag to my cup of tea, the peanut to my peanut butter.

Sleeping is a struggle, watching Damien sleep peacefully makes me feel angry, but also hurt, but also reassured. It's so confusing. How I feel is like one of those tough algebra questions you get given at school where you just want to give up. That's me with my emotions and trying to understand what I'm going through at the moment so I have no idea how Damien is dealing with me. He's a amazing man to have stuck by my side through all this difficulty I'm going through. He's just the best of the best, and I don't think he realises how much I appreciate him.

The worse thing is after all that's happened, I feel like I've lost a lot, a lot of confidence, a lot of my chirpiness and I feel like I am crumbling. I'm trying and make my life easier, but it's like a constant rash, it's been constantly there, the pain, the suffering and the constant ache in my heart, and all I want, more than anything, is for it to go away.

Today I'd spent my day doing my different things like the bracelets I make, the scarves and all the other things I do, doing my private tutoring in the morning, and it stops my brain ticking over all of the time. The walks I go on everyday are with my way of keeping sane, feeling the wind in my hair, the chirping of the birds calming my nerves but this was one day where Damien was with me but he is unusually quiet with me today and my anxiety is up by a mile. He's just sat there, come on Charity you need to confront him, see what's going on. Is he keeping something from me?

"Hey" I hear and turn from where I am in front of the kettle and I jump, and he looks at me and he walks over, and frowns slightly, he wraps his arms around me and takes the appearance of me and presses his lips together as he brings his hand to my cheek and he strokes it gently. "Come on, babe, talk to me" He whispers, tenderly and presses his soft, soothing lips to my head and I nod, come on Charity, hold it together.

"I'm ok, I just feel so tired, I don't know, on edge, we were on the run, being hunted down and now I know I should feel relieved, but I'm on edge, Damien" I whisper and he just strokes my cheek, his eyes soft, loving... Goodness what have I done to deserve this man in my life. He's kind, caring, affectionate, understanding and he always wants to make sure I'm safe.

"I know, Charity, I wish you'd let me in more, I can't bear-" He starts but he pauses and takes a deep look in my eyes, his eyes pained as he is talking, well done Charity, you've freaked him out.

"I'm sorry, just ignore me" I whisper but he cups my face and gently presses his lips to mine and then presses his forehead to mine and I grab hold of his wrists and close my eyes, feeling a blanket of reassurance, a blanket of intense safety take over as I relax into the man I love.

"No, I won't ignore you, Charity. I love you... So much. I just wish I could have stopped the Eros thing so you don't have to go through all of the things that you are going through right now" He whispers and I look down at my feet, and take a shaky breath but he gently takes my chin in his finger and tilts my head up and I look in his eyes and he kisses me again.

"I'm trying to keep it together" I whisper.

"You don't need need to keep it together with me, Charity. You are my girlfriend, god, you're the love of my life and I don't want you to be scared" he whispers lovingly and I try to look away, not wanting to crack like a china doll but he doesn't let me, wanting me to listen to him. He just makes me want to be safe.

"I'm not scared of you, it was just all the Eros stuff, the Rowan... the Cecile situation" I say and he nods at me, understanding, or probably trying to understand, he's a man for goodness sake, he may not understand how I feel.

"I know and I promise you I will protect you in every way I can, they'll have to get through me before they get to me if they ever return and not one punch, shot, stab whatever they have to throw at me, will stop me from fighting" he whispers and my heart drops that he mentions those words, I swear I could never let him risk himself for me.

"I hope it never comes to you risking yourself for me" I whisper.

"It won't, I promise you" he whispers and I look into his eyes again and my heart rate calms down and I smile and I nod.

"I just want to sleep" I sigh, maybe sleep will make my problems go away, maybe stop me from having to discuss my feelings which, as much as I love to spend time with my boyfriend and I love .

"Yeah? Go on babe" he smiles and I nod but a thought comes to my head.

"Can you come and lay with me?" I ask and he looks into my eyes and grins, cheekily almost, but he smiles and he nods.

"Of course" he smiles and I go across to our room and I pull my hair out of the plait it's in and tame it out of the plait and I get on my side of the bed and Damien walks in and grabs the blanket and lays next to me and smiles and covers me in the blanket and holds onto me and strokes my arm and for the first time in so long, I feel safe as I fall asleep as I hear Damien whisper how much he loves me and how much I mean to him and I pray to god he knows how much he means to me, even if I find it hard to talk to him at times

When I wake up, I'm in bed on my own and I see a note on the table and I read it.

Popped out to get food for dinner, and you some ice cream, be back soon, I love you – D

I grin to myself and I go to the living room and sit down and switch the tv on and start watching a episode of my favourite show, and smile, waiting for Damien to get home.

Ding Dong

The doorbell, I immediately jump but remember it could be Damien having forgot his keys and I go to the front door and unlock it as my hand shakes, come Charity, just relax and I open the door and I see no one there and I frown but look down where there is a envelope and I pick it up and it says my name, I cautiously close the door again and I lock it and open it and I open the note. What is written on it, is unexpected.


End file.
